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I can't believe how stupid the future turned out to be.

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โ€œA new life awaits you in the off-world colonies you fucking fuckโ€

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please accept my apologies if I seem less than enthusiastic while removing your infected wound dressing that is scabbed over and oozing slime.

the man seriously asked me why I looked so alarmed

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I remember when a towel cape, a trashcan shield, and a yardstick sword were enough for me to feel like I had shit handled

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[angry breakup]

Her: I faked all my orgasms with you!
Him: Oh yeah? Well, remember when I said I liked ๐˜Ž๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜Ž๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ญ๐˜ด?
Her: *gasps* สธแต’แต˜ แต‡แตƒหขแต—แตƒสณแตˆ

baley boosted

the most eco-friendly computer is the one you already own. i know they're not pretending they're green this year but. stop buying new shit and start demanding better support for keeping old shit running

a ripe pineapple, mango, and avocado are the perfect hostess gifts

baley boosted

How does thick cut bacon, a poached egg on rye toast with a side of blueberries sound? Will share if you load the dishwasher after.

the rocket ship to mars is not leaving soon enough

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Nude art 

By Gypsy Dog. Itโ€™s me rn. ๐Ÿฅต

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Hey people of Mastodon. I slept very little last night and my ADHD is making it very hard to focus on this super important day so, I know I probably could've sounded punchier and not ask for help but one thing this queer learned in a lifetime of abuse is that sometimes it's okay to ask for help. Today the 'Redundant' project was released, my baby independent project about violence against the transgender and non-binary community. Would you watch/listen? Would you reblog?

linktr.ee/skalymusic

baley boosted

the birdsite is disgusting and I don't know how people fool themselves into thinking it's ok to participate and that you haven't betrayed the LGBTQ community. You have.

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