@jens Whatever works for you there. Hauptsache being that you’re OK.

As for how we are raised, yes, I recognise that. I made a relevant (deep?) observation recently: some personality traits tend to be the true drivers of our lives. They serve us well for decades. Until they don’t. I personally (retrospectively) realised that it’s exactly those things which I found very precious in my upbringing and personality traits which drove my inner “machine”, which later led me into a dead end. They did not cause the ensuing hardships, but contributed to me getting stuck and in a way prevented me to find a way out sooner. The solution to such qualms was to rebuild one’s world, to become somebody slightly different. Still the same person, but now with slightly shifted (perhaps balanced?) values. And that’s f**ing hard. Hard because we so much value the way we were raised, not realising that maybe some parts of that became (or always were) obsolete over time in this changing world. I learned to accept that.