@maloki Shopping can be a jame if you pretend hard enough!
Eye Contact; Selfie Show more
@maloki Now, gaems
a thing I wrestle with in DBT Show more
@polymerwitch We haven’t thought about this in a while.
I think that through a dialectical lens, you’re being asked to balance the validation of your own feelings with the recognition that other people have values that, in some cases, are very harmful. That isn’t to say that you have to accept their values. What our counselor would have recommended in this kind of dilemma is working on accepting the fact that we have no tolerance for, say, racists.
(There’s also the matter of not judging the judging. It becomes a little Mobius-like in that area and I’ve been awake too long to know how to address that.)
The way I would frame it is this: judgment helps us navigate the world, how we identify who we are and aren’t, what we consider acceptable and intolerable. Your values are extremely important to you, and the suffering of others is important to you. When someone supports or promotes the suffering of a group, that hurts you in a very real way, so you’re going to judge them. The issue, I think, is what you do with that judgment, and how it informs the way you treat people with values that you find unacceptable.
For us, it means leaving well enough alone unless someone is in immediate danger. Sometimes we ruminate on the racism and colonialism our relatives exhibit, and sometimes we call them out on it. Most of the time, though, we’re looking out for ourselves and picking our battles. We still judge the hell out of those relatives and we accept that that will always be our reaction.
I think that #DBT is a toolbox, and its tools can be used and abused. We use those tools in various ways to examine and develop our values. Some people to less compassionate degrees than others.
Let me know what you think.
@vicorva You did! Good job!
Ro vs THE GAY AGENDA Show more
I don't really consider myself a radical or an ally because in my estimation, it's not a radical thing to recognize the basic humanity of another person.
Coming from a very conservative family, recognizing the humanity of gay peoples is kind of a thing.
My insistence to not demean and disparage homosexuals and even call it out when I hear it around me has not endeared me to many people in my family, but I think homophobia is not helping anyone or anything.
@j Doesn’t it kind of amaze you that we’ve made it this far as a species?
@MOTT This is phenomenal.
Another genderless insult you can use when the power goes out Show more
@mamur Jewish = inherently ultra-Zionist seems rather black-and-white. There are quite a few Jews who are not Zionist.
Not debating the rest of your arguments, just unsure if the generalization is appropriate.
I’m here for the character count.
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