SpinozasHeresy @SpinozasHeresy@qoto.org

OK, I’m a dyed in the wool liberal. You can ring a bell and my heart’ll bleed like the Nile in spring. But I have absolutely no tolerance for a stinky politician...from either political party! Democrats and republicans can honestly disagree about taxes, abortion, and drag queens ad nauseam. But a putrid pol? Get outta here, would ya!?! The nose knows what unifies this great nation!

Now that we’ve disrupted the Brosnian Terror Syndicate and destroyed their propaganda machine, there’s a new threat developing in the south. Our troops are sure to have their work cut out for them as they approach the enemy from the sea. Our smart weaponry will most certainly win the day as we continue our march to victory and freedom! Let’s pray that our austerity measures won’t outlive our collective discomfort and that our chocolate ration will soon be restored!

@streetartutopia

If we the people are the government, then does that mean we should be afraid of ourselves?

In the history of tree sloths, not a single tree sloth has robbed a bank. However, if a tree sloth did, in fact, rob a bank, the motherfucker would be indicted and convicted just the same. True, it would be unprecedented, but the motherfucker would still be indicted and convicted. Capeesh? 

Great news! We’re no longer at war with East Asia!! 😀 We’ve now joined forces with their campaign against Oceania!! Sadly, chocolate rations are being reduced due to our reliance on Oceania for the chocolate trade😔. A small price to pay for freedom and justice!!

So the good news is, chocolate and nylon rations are going up 10% in 2024. The bad news is, we’ll be at war with East Asia in 2024. We’ve always been at war with East Asia.

@carnage4life

it seems like it’s nothing proper footnotes couldn’t solve. 

@elfunrokr

There’s only one thing that disqualifies one from being president, and that’s a foul smell. Everyone knows the constitution prohibits a foul smelling person from the presidency. We don’t need a jury verdict to know a person exudes a foul odor and Donald Trump is the smelliest person ever in all American history. Of course, don’t expect the liberal media to report on what is quite clear to anyone with any intelligence.

OMG!! 😱 The apocalypse is next week!! No...wait a minute, it’s actually going to be in three months and seven days!! (give or take a few here or there). And if you send $9.99 to PO Box 555, Pasadena, CA 91102, we’ll send an informative pamphlet and a special gift to ensure you and your family are safe and secure in this unprecedented time of peril in our country, er, for the planet!!!

I’ve seen some virtue signaling about stink shaming Trump and all I can say is, good luck on your march to the concentration camp. I suppose you’ll be able to hold your head high proudly knowing you didn’t hit a Nazi bully below the belt.

@talia_christine

Oooo! I love love love 💕 opening these, but I’m always bumbling with those little hooks in the back. 

People are saying Donald Trump wears diapers. Of course, don’t expect the liberal media will report the facts that everyone already knows.

@georgetakei

https://youtu.be/UVznerpOkTI?si=tgl3j0y-InmtCi5B

Trump didn’t read Mein Kampf. He made that Nazi shit up all by himself.

It’s odd to me that we spent four flaccid years listening to Trump tell, what, like 30,000 lies? something like that? But when he says he’s “going to be a dictator on day one” all media (except Fox News et al) soils its collective pants. Trump is a fucking buffoon. Pearl clutching and swooning is exactly what he wants. Why does everyone continue to give it to him? And before you tell me to ignore it at my peril, tell me exactly how 50 states and 330 million people are going to get on board.

@RustyBertrand

And so it goes...

@simon @themarkup

Different medium, different use case. I guarantee a court subpoena to my mastodon host would provide all the information required for a legal inquiry about my identity.

Our current abortion ban problems aren’t the result of conservative success. They’re the result of a majority failure to vote.

@Drdind

actually, I think these are the Former Trophy Moms for America.