Show newer

@NicLovesMetal always. I've also had the same 9 songs (1 of which is a cover of another so reallyt 8) on repeat for over a week. 😩

Me and my eldest, we're both a bit special, same songs on repeat until we can't bear them any more....

Autism 

@mxtthxw similar here I was 33ish, it's been an interesting learning curve

Autism 

@mxtthxw I was far more in tune and could resonate more with episode 2. We're all different 😎

Sat in the AA lounge and some Americans are complaining that the EU is going to start charging foreigners for entry from next year and one of them says "we should charge them too..."

Urrrrr we are charged in exactly the same manner today, it's called an ESTA 🙌

Having spent a day in Microsoft Devops and now Github Actions.... its safe to say I'm not friends with Microsoft or CI systems right now...

@freemo like running systemd services or whatever, multiprocess stuff like a more traditional vm as opposed to dockers more general 1 running process mode of operation

@freemo I used to use LXC/LXD back in the day, if you have a need for a full init chain or similar, there's a use case, but otherwise, there's enough differrent ways that are more common to separate workloads.

@mxtthxw I was trying to help you out! I'm sure you meant 24 billion!

@tallison you've clearly not our old friend of many leaks... unsecured MongoDB....

@brody Sadly not! I can't talk my other half into making the move.

If they still do a hop on and off ticket for the cross country Canada trip, I'd highly recommend it. The differences between the flatlands over the plains then hitting the Rockies is absolutely stunning.

@brody You're talking to someone who, in 2006, did the Toronto to Vancouver train trip (stopping off in Jasper) and loved it. I suspect I'll cope! 😉

To be fair an all day trip sounds like my local commute to London 😆

@brody Looks great, I've never trekked up to SF, that seems to be the way to do it!

Mental Health 

I should point out, Leave a light on is a shout out to the addict reminding him that there is a way back if he chooses to take it. I was lucky that song came on when it did and I paid attention to the lyrics.

There is a comment below the video that says "when you're happy you enjoy the melody, when you're broken you understand the lyrics." I don't know where that came from but it's very true.

Show thread

Mental Health 

I've told this story a few times in different places but its worth retelling, maybe for my own sake.

qoto.org/web/statuses/10992263

Spotify tracking, I always enjoy the year in review, its interesting to see what went down. I also have a "random" playlist which has tracks I've enjoyed at specific points that I never delete from, only ever add to the list. In doing so you can also track pretty easily what my mood was like at the time.

I'll give you some idea:

Jan 11th I added a bunch of uplifting tunes, then Jan 17th I added, Please Don't Go, Beowulf, good sampling, resonated with me. Then the next few weeks nothing and again a few more uplifting tunes earlier in the month, then the last 2 days, Hang, Matchbox Twenty - a song about an abusive relationship, Rocket Man (cover), and then Sing For the Moment, Eminem, just came on, slapped it in the playlist, it happened to resonate, it'll be there forever and remind me of now.

So this brings me back to the year in review, and I've removed it recently but it was 2018, and I took a trip to Malta. When I booked it, it was just a break away, but when I was there, it was a full meltdown. Sat in my room, drinking heavily, trying to erase the past, and on repeat I had.... Eminem Lose Yourself and Leave a Light on. youtube.com/watch?v=nqnkBdExjw

The latter appeared tonight and reminded me of that time, I look back on it as a time when I was lucky, because when I took that trip I didn't realise how my health would turn. During the day, I functioned like a normal human, did some sightseeing, but as soon as the evening arrived, the darkness fell and it was complete self abuse.

I look back now on a dark period of my life and sometimes those songs come on and I'm reminded, Leave a Light on, a song about substance abuse, in the song its really about class A drugs, but substance abuse can easily be a wide variety of different drugs.

These days it doesn't conjure up the same feelings of abuse and self loathing, but I'm aware of how close it came back then to all collapsing inwards.

Its like Spotify knows when I'm pissed off and starts playing Eminem in the random shuffle on purpose... its like they track you or something?......

Show older

Tom Barber Mars Data Engineer's choices:

Qoto Mastodon

QOTO: Question Others to Teach Ourselves
An inclusive, Academic Freedom, instance
All cultures welcome.
Hate speech and harassment strictly forbidden.