Furry in an Omegaverse Isekai @tormeh@qoto.org

finally! my Mastodon followers outnumber the voices in my head

@xinicit
i'll give you my sex toy when you pry it from my cold, dead ass

If they ban sex toys, I’m gonna become a billionaire by inventing the ribbed potato chip tube.

cashier: is there anything else?

me: *looking around despondently* I really fucking hope so

I haven't trusted anyone since I found out Rhode Island isn't an island.

Looking forward to the first generation of people who grew up with the “nice” meme to start turning 69.

I’m listening to my kids’ school-orchestra fundamentally reject the concepts of music and cooperation

People who can’t fall asleep are real. We are valid. We are learning about obscure foods on Wikipedia

"In Magdeburg war das mit dem Bahnsteig immer so eine Glückssache. Deshalb sage ich: In 50 Prozent der Fälle ist der Ausstieg links, in 50 Prozent rechts. Sie steigen bitte da aus, wo der Bahnsteig ist." (@foonathan) #Bahn #Ansage

My wife and I were sleeping back to back last night and I awoke to find our butts ‘talking’ to each other like some kind of kazoo symphony, which was nice.

He asked me if I like derp discussions and then apologized for the typo. Not going to lie, I was a little disappointed. Derpy is my thing.

Can't decide if I want to join a cult or a landfill.

It’s raining, so I’ll be staying inside all day (same as if it were sunny)

Makin' fractals

Gonna post them in a thread here as I make them, CC0, feel free to grab them for anything

#Fractal

Rendered in JWildfire

I broke the fourth wall and my landlord is PISSED

A timelapse showing the incredible movement of a growing vine, exhibiting both nastic movement to find, and then a thigmotropic response to grasp and hold.

Credit: Roger P. Hangarter

https://plantsinmotion.bio.indiana.edu/plantmotion/movements/nastic/nastic.html

#botany #nature #plants #science

they're all good fridays imo

I can't remember who wanted to see this, but here it is, one crochet ootopus tentacle skirt #crochet #ocotpus #steampunk

This headache is sponsored by life sucks and then you die.