Furry in an Omegaverse Isekai @tormeh@qoto.org

Hearing Gen Z describing Mitch McConnell's accidental brain mutex just sends me.

"Grandpa's brain went into pajama mode a bit too soon."

"Father time closed one too many tabs."

"This aspiring corpse just got ghosted by their central nervous system."

Me: do you like my new hairstyle?

Kid: oh - did you do that on purpose?

The best way to manage your boss’s expectations is by setting the bar really low right from the start.

Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don't want you to know.

my long, unbroken obsession with taking moody iPhone snaps in airports

Et oui.
“Since 2018 cumulative growth in gdp in France, albeit modest, has been twice that in Germany, and ahead of Britain, Italy and Spain.”

Beneath France’s revolts, hidden success

https://www.economist.com/europe/2023/07/27/beneath-frances-revolts-hidden-success

The best thing about the past two years has been watching Elon Musk tank Dogecoin (and make a killing), tank the Tesla stock price (and make a killing), and now tank Twitter - and everyone thinks he's fucking up THIS time.
Fool me once ... 😂

Tens of thousands of days I have made the crucial mistake of waking up, getting out of bed, and facing the day as a living, non-vegetative human being 🙁

#RIPHarryFrankfurt, the American philosopher who provided a key guide to contemporary #politics: On Bullshit.

Famously Frankfurt distinguished between the liar (who has some regard for the truth, if only to avoid it), and the bullshitter who has no interest veracity or otherwise, and merely speaks what is (politically) expedient at any moment, never worrying about inconsistency...

If you wanted one book to guide you through the first decades of this century, this was it!

#BorisJohnson...

Whenever I would go out to dinner with my parents and the server would ask if we were celebrating anything, I’d proudly exclaim that we were celebrating my father’s release from prison, so it’s no surprise that he is ashamed to have me as a daughter.

Well, shit

I see you keep your wallet and cell phone in your bra

Cute

*reaches into bra, pulls out an entire wheel of cheese*

Hot singles in your area are looking for free air-conditioning.

Every time I open this app I say in my head: show me your toots

I should stop that

While we’re worrying about AI, the bollards are planning a global revolution...

I've been eating cucumber slices instead of chips and when I close my eyes, I pretend I'm eating something more enjoyable, like broken glass or rusty nails.

Dating someone that actually likes you is wild. Like, what do you mean this person actually wants me around? And tries to get to know me? And asks what my blood type is? Or if I have both kidneys? Or if I wanna fly out & meet them alone in an abandoned hospital? It's nice to feel appreciated.

“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”