seligman @dubiousmoke@qoto.org
This is the best thing I have read recently:
The shy narcissist, Salman Akhtar, 2000
The passivity of the little boys showed up in endless dawdling...and as Johnny so well put it, "I have no motor going inside of me."
Johnny...quite consciously avoided being enthusiastic about anything in order not to get himself excited. Jonny knew a lot and he knew nothing really...But Johnny never could utter any more than just this one remark, because he would never want to know more about any subject. It became especially clear in his analysis that he was not only afraid of probing any deeper into one or the other problem, but that learning also meant to him not yet knowing, a state that made him feel very insecure and restless.
Charlie...very definitely refused to grow up mostly for this reason: he was relatively safe as long as he participated in his mother's omnipotence...He played the dope because he wanted to be considered as a baby.
The idea: "I must not look closely but I nevertheless must know"...I am not allowed to know the truth, and I don't dare to really know it. But knowledge is power and protection. Therefore I will collect as much information as I can get on the surface and use it against the sisters.
The fear of terrible discoveries... a fear of surprises, i.e., a compulsion to immediately know something about everything and to quickly "label" it in a neurotic way. The fear of surprises is frequently based on the fear of one's own excitement.
___________________________
Headline Intelligence, Christine Olden, 1946
“Dune” and the Delicate Art of Making Fictional Languages
‘Enshittification’ is coming for absolutely everything
https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5
Gene therapies that let deaf children hear bring hope—and many questions
又翻到这一篇讲吴谢宇的，重看了一遍，其实对我非常应景，很多第一遍看的时候没有太在意的地方现在读起来我都很能relate，从某些方面来说我的成长经历十分相似。
[谢天琴的自卑，是有实实在在客观原因的。而吴谢宇作为下一代人，从小在城市长大，爸爸妈妈是80年代为数不多的大学生，哪里需要自卑呢？他幼小的心灵，在事实上承担着妈妈的情绪。妈妈看上去总是不快乐的，吴谢宇从来不敢问，只能是自己猜。是不是哪里没做好，又让妈妈不高兴了？从看守所写给小姨的信里，吴谢宇说，“阿姨你从小知道我的……我从小那么拼命读书就是为了拿第一名让妈妈开心让妈妈骄傲啊，我活着就是为了妈妈而活啊”。]
[“爸妈也说，大人的事情你小孩不用管也不用听，我就只去读书做题了，我感觉自己是小孩，爸妈是大人”。在他27岁在看守所里写内心感受时，吴谢宇写道，“我和爸爸妈妈从来没有说过真心话”。在和律师的会谈中，吴谢宇说，“对爸爸不了解，只是觉得他的性格很好”。]
[“我很早就学会在爸爸妈妈面前，尽力掩藏自己的情绪和感受，因为我觉得这是我懂事的表现。”]
[我用这第一名就足以对爸爸妈妈有意义，足以为爸妈争光，足以获得各种荣誉，足以掩盖我的其他一切问题]
[奶奶和大姑用传统方式，表达着失去亲人的痛苦，但是对谢天琴和吴谢宇来说，他们很难直接表达出感受，看上去显得呆住了。]
吴谢宇弑母案：最后的悲剧发生之前
https://news.sina.com.cn/s/2023-05-30/doc-imyvpunh0596173.shtml#/
延伸丨吴谢宇弑母案总结篇：道德冲突下的“复仇”
https://www.lifeweek.com.cn/h5/article/detail.do?artId=208791
..."We are counting on your conscientiousness. Even though you are rather frivolous. The information we have on you is more than contradictory: indiscriminate personal life, drinking, dubious jokes..."
The Suitcase
