I have said this several times but it bears repeating now:
A very large portion of the Fediverse values tone over substance. "Politeness" and "civility" over what people are actually saying.
This leads to a constant background noise of just rancid replies that are all phrased in a superficially "nice" tone.
Justified anger and non-diplomatic push-back however is heavily policed and dismissed as "bad habits" brought over from elsewhere.
Unless this fundamentally changes, it will never be a place that's safe for marginalized people who have to stand up for themselves and face a constant stream of condescension, dismissiveness, and outright hostility.
A lot of the time it absolutely does live up to its reputation as a place where middle aged white cis men tell you how your perspective and expertise don't matter, and where you better watch your mouth when talking back to them.
@esther some of the most ferocious put downs I’ve ever heard were delivered with a soft and respectful voice. It’s that old adage, don’t regard my good manners as a sign of weakness.
