I have said this several times but it bears repeating now:

A very large portion of the Fediverse values tone over substance. "Politeness" and "civility" over what people are actually saying.

This leads to a constant background noise of just rancid replies that are all phrased in a superficially "nice" tone.

Justified anger and non-diplomatic push-back however is heavily policed and dismissed as "bad habits" brought over from elsewhere.

Unless this fundamentally changes, it will never be a place that's safe for marginalized people who have to stand up for themselves and face a constant stream of condescension, dismissiveness, and outright hostility.

A lot of the time it absolutely does live up to its reputation as a place where middle aged white cis men tell you how your perspective and expertise don't matter, and where you better watch your mouth when talking back to them.

@esther some of the most ferocious put downs I’ve ever heard were delivered with a soft and respectful voice. It’s that old adage, don’t regard my good manners as a sign of weakness.

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@jaycee @esther Pretty sure Esther wasn't doing that.

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