Read a post from someone with ADHD, downplaying their sons ADHD as mild and seeking advice on how to make him do something with his life because the poster has a drive and had success because they refused to give up after being diagnosed.
I told them they had internalised ableism.
This is a very common thing with disabled people, including myself. If you get frustrated with or expect others with the same disorder as you to just be like you, because you did it so obviously they can too: you are ableist. Some of it comes from ignorance, some of it comes from self hatred.
If this resonates with you, spend 2024 ridding yourself of those chains. Appreciate everyone where they’re at, and stop holding them to the expectations you have for yourself.
It’s hard enough dealing with disabilities, even harder when people ostensibly within the same community are also holding you to impossible standards.
@james I believe this also has to do with a certain element of trust.
Because people are affected differently by disorders, it's often not possible to know if the standards you're holding them to are reasonable or impossible.
Did they not do the thing because they don't care? They're lazy? They're upset? They wanted to but they genuinely find it difficult?
You can't really know, and that means you just need to trust what they're saying to you.
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@james The problem is that with some disorders, people who are struggling with them might not even know the answer themselves.
It's complicated. It needs empathy, understanding and compassion from all parties.
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