I have a hole in my back the size of a gunshot wound, and I’m about to get both of my calves operated on, with huge scars on either side. I need to come up some cool stories about how I got these. Panther attack? Mars mission gone awry? Terrifying encounter with a clicker? Definitely not ‘biopsy in extreme caution’ and ‘sports limiting congenital defect,” because those have way fewer story beats. I always say: Gotta like your life like it’s a pilot episode in search of a series order.