Dating, mh 

I feel like I have something to offer, & can't imagine what more I *could* offer without becoming somebody unrecognizable.

I don't think my standards are too high either: I swipe right on anybody within a few hours' drive that shows any indication they'd be willing to put up with even a five minute conversation with me. Allowing my standards to go any lower would mean sacrificing the only potential value here: I have no interest in pursuing people who don't like me.

And yet, I swipe right rarely, and match even more rarely, and those that do match typically unmatch before much of anything gets said.

I think I'm no worse than average -- I'm not a shithead, or horribly ugly, and I don't ruin people's lives -- but whenever I put myself out there in this context, an experiment is run, and the experiment's results say: you do not offer anything of value, you are not worth loving or even getting to know. I start off thinking optimistically: maybe one in a hundred times I'll connect to somebody, or maybe one in a thousand, or one in ten thousand. And the experiment will say: those odds are lower, maybe nobody in one hundred thousand, maybe not one in a million girls will want you even for a second.

Maybe I'm somehow alienating people in a misleading way? But people who know me have not been able to tell me that anything in my profile is misleading; it seems like the people who see it get an accurate picture of me, and that picture turns them off immediately.

I don't expect great odds. I don't want to be hot stuff. I don't even expect commitment or fidelity. I just want a connection with somebody that could lead to an easy intimacy.

re: Dating, mh 

The sample size keeps growing & one of these days I'll have to give up the null hypothesis that "of course there's somebody out there somewhere who would date me, of course I could be in a relationship that didn't blow up". Because I'm sure doing a lot of work to try to maintain that delusion.

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re: Dating, mh 

@enkiv2 can be difficult! Starting a relationship & maintaining it are v. different challenges, both hard. Is much harder feeling unwanted. Hope things get better for you.

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