Boss: Why is your work only 80% complete?
Me: Oh, yes! There’s a very good explanation for that.
In my last performance review, you noted that I was exceeding all expectations, but that you were only giving me a 4 out of 5 because you “never give 5s” because “there’s always room for improvement.”
As a result, I’ve taken the initiative to deliver at 4/5 capacity to ensure I’m performing according to your expectations.
As we’ve already established, I’m easily capable of performing at and above 100%, so please let me know once you’ve adjusted my performance rating to a 5 and I will adjust my performance accordingly.
Phew....the memories. I had that boss once. "I can't give you a perfect review" every damn year. Funny thing, when I quit he CRIED when I handed him my letter of resignation and told me he was under so much pressure from his bosses and he'd never be able to replace me with someone as good at the job. Oh well. I did not cry.
