Crigl @Crigl@qoto.org

rubbing my finger along the rim of my foreskin like a tibetan singing bowl. listen to its rich deep tone

I am a therapist and I prescribe all my patients a big ass kush blunt. the diagnosis? society.

I noticed that the internet has a lot of "gaming," so I reported this to the United Nations and they promised to shut down the internet tomorrow.

somebody just opened and ate a cold can of chef boyardee on the train and then left the can on the floor

liberal theorists be like damn...its crazy how everyone is individually choosing to do the same things at the same time, too bad there is no way to analyze or explain this

The reason images arent working is because Eugen found out it had actually been horseradish this whole time

If you use straw skeps to house your bees, you probably find the swarm process (during which the bees move to a different skep so that you may collect their honey and wasp - see picture) to be a highly stressful one.

Not to worry! An 11th-century manuscript, most probably written in Winchester, provides us with a handy charm to protect bees from getting lost, being attacked, or even being stolen.

if you're having trouble visualizing the recursive centaur i've made this helpful reference

Biden is short for Bin Laden

i dont care if this gets me cancelled i think some of you need to hear this. its not ok to stan genghis khan. he was problematic as hell

this dude just dumped like, 40 cockroaches out of his bag onto the subway platform

"Democracy" ends at the job site.

"i use linux as my operating system," i state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. he swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision.
"actually," he says with a grin, "linux is just the kernel. you use GNU+linux."
i don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "i use alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. it's linux, but it's not GNU+linux."

the smile quickly drops from the man's face. his body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth as he drop to the floor with a sickly thud. as he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!"
coolly, i reply "if windows was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?" i interrupt his response with "and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. even if you were correct, you won't be for long."

with a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. he lies on the floor, cold and limp. i've womansplained him to death.

#starwars #cosplay #1977

I love this !

One idea I've been meaning to pitch Eugen for mastodon is the idea of "gamer credits."

The basic principle of "gamer credits" is to create a digital scoring system based on each user's ability to demonstrate that they are indeed a "true gamer." This score would be based on things such as knowledge of gaming history, as well as gaming prowess.

The main idea is this: whenever any mastodon user gains even a single unit of gamer credit, they would be fucking banned forever. #mastodev

dad astra

good prank to do: put 1000 USD in a secured envelope and then write my address on the front of it with appropriate postage and then drop it in a mail box. it'll be hilarious!

to reduce motion blur, your optic nerve shuts off when your eye moves rapidly. to eliminate the game in perception, your brain then fills in the missing parts of the image, making you unaware anything had happened. this phenomenon, called saccadic masking, renders you totally blind for up to 40 minutes a day.

who knows what creatures exist in that space you aren't permitted to observe