"How did we do? Take this survey to let us know."
You fucking tried everything in your power to not let me talk to a person even though it is the easiest way to solve my problem, you threw countless automated "solutions" at me that had nothing to do with my problem, and when I was finally able to navigate your intentionally complicated system to find someone, it took transferring me three times to get someone who could actually help me. How do you think you did?
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Do you think they give a shit about your problem? Of course they don't; their only concern is to give a semblance of giving a shit whilst saving a lot of money dealing with pestilential arseholes like yourself!
