Thanks to an astonishingly cack-handed technician drawing blood at my local blood-testing clinic I now have two massive bruises; one in the crotch of each elbow where he attempted with very little success, to get two vials of blood out my body! In the end the useless twat had to go for a vein in my hand to discharge his vampirely duties.

I now look like a incompetent intravenous drug abuser!