Tooters, #traderjoes is helping me with my elocution!

For a week now there are no eggs in the egg cooler, not even the 5dollar dozen. There's a multicolored missive taped to the cooler handwritten in block letters explaining that distribution is a troublesome affair.

At check out, one of the fifteen tellers is obligated to ask me if I found everything.

My primary reason for the visit is the $2.99 egg carton, which is on the low side of our DC retail range. My cake needs eggs. Now, I know many of you are thinking to start my speech to the cashiers with a yoke. But I'm trying to raise my game.

Initially, I stated the obvious as a means to draw in the listener, but my cashier remains silent and detached. I've tried rhetorical questions but they fail to provoke wonder. So now, I'm attempting more eye contact and personal questions.

Sometimes my cashier is wearing a mask so maybe somthing about bird flu will do. "How do you feel about H5N1?" Surely this would knit undiscovered eggs and unlayed eggs to these undistributed eggs that were unfindable. But it has not.

"Would you like your receipt?", they ask, rejecting my polemic foray into the empty egg cooler.

I ponder. This is only temporary, this empty egg cooler, and I'll return to check again for eggs, purchase other items.

Goodbye saxophone nailed to the wall, goodbye cashier friends, goodbye empty egg cooler.

It was fun.