1-600-DOCTORB @dumdumjobes@qoto.org

Watching the DNC and can’t escape the feeling that a Republican found a monkeys paw 8 years ago. He hated Obama, hated Clinton, and wished for a candidate to unite the country and defeat her. If you think about it, you can imagine all the shitty wishes between then and now. Feel like the last wish might’ve been for Trump to defeat Biden in 2024…

With Tony Hawk shilling statins, the race is on for the first gen-xer to pitch term life insurance. I hope it’s Janeane Garofalo.

Specifically - Pat Sajak. Dropping hints and naming names.

Mother in law is kind of mad this Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have piss-warm ginger ale on tap. We’ll need to fill out a survey or something to ensure this oversight never happens again.

Sometimes I think about how much it sucks that the world never got to see Freddie Mercury become an old queen. Or an old Queen. Freddie Mercury as grand marshal of Pride parades would have been an event.

Better Man by Pearl Jam would be a way better song if it was Better Man by Toad the Wet Sprocket.

You're getting unfiltered truths here, folks.

You ever get the vibe that game show hosts are just wildly unpleasant to be around when they’re not hosting game shows?

Ibuprofen is a gateway drug to middle age.

I'm just gonna come out and say what no one else will these days: Tragedy and Nights on Broadway by The Bee Gees are two incredibly great songs. More people should talk about this.

I think King Buzzo and Robert Smith should swap gigs once in a while just to fuck with their audiences.

Beautiful spring day here. One of those days where you go to a bar after work and stay just long enough to disgrace yourself and have to go find a different bar to go to. Oh, to be young again.

Elder care is like shitty, reverse parenting. Instead of lessons getting applied and reinforced and seeing growth, there is a built in expectation that every lesson will yield worse results and lead to regressions. Would not recommend.