It’s very, very strange to be surrounded by people everywhere slowly signing up for fascism. Especially when they think of themselves as “normal”, liberal / progressive… the good people. And yet, they’ve fallen for propaganda. Slowly agreed to value tiny personal convenience over everyone else’s basic human rights. They’ve jettisoned reality. Rejected science and facts. Bought into extreme selfishness. They proudly post photos of themselves causing harm. And push others to do the same. W.T.F.

My feeds are full of people celebrating and congratulating each other for hosting maskless events indoors. You all have lost it. You've parted from reality. Often while claiming to care about healthcare, or accessibility, or humanity, or ethics. But you don't. You've been duped. The far right extreme has won you over. As we all boil in a pot of hot water, on a stove heated by the playbooks of fascism.

I hate to think about what comes next.

I’m sure people think I haven’t spoken at any in-person web conferences since I joined Apple because of Apple. No. It’s because of Sars-Cov-2. And because I was disabled by Covid.

I wish the pandemic were over. I wish I could physically travel. I intensely miss speaking at events, being there in person, talking to you all. But I cannot. First, because I still have not recovered enough to handle it. Second, because I absolutely refuse to spread this virus around. I won’t do it. Ethically, no.

If the virus was really and truly gone — or more realistically, if we had sterilizing vaccines — I would definitely attempt to go speak at in-person conferences. I would ask for accommodations. But when I have asked for what I need & what the audience needs to be safe, I've been met with refusals from conference organizers. Many have no intention of being truly accessible. No intention of keeping audiences safe from this virus or the disability it leaves in its wake. Some have been quite rude.

Trump hated truth. He hated the CDC. Hated science. Hated Covid mitigations. Hated it all. And yet, over the last year, so many of the people who would have never agree with Trump in 2020 have now bought 100% into all of his ideas about how best to respond to this virus. They are all now doing exactly what he wanted them to do. I do not understand why. I wonder how many other ideas of his they actually agree with. Kids in cages? White nationalism? Probably most things. Probably I’ve been naive.

I know many of you consider these words of mine to be extreme — simply because there are not enough of us speaking from scientific fact anymore, especially in certain countries like the U.S., and in Europe.

We are all social creatures. We are all connected. It's hard to stand against the crowd. When one person refuses to wear a mask and scoffs at people who do, that makes others feel stupid and like they should also take off their masks. But we can stand up for our values. And we should.

And yes, I’m talking about #btconf. I simply cannot comprehend how to respond to a world where people I used to respect — who I considered colleagues, or even friends — are all now making the choice to reject science and intentionally spread a virus that is causing a massively-tragic global pandemic. I’ve withdrawn from so much because I don’t know how to be in that world. But I’m also sick of being silent. While they celebrate each other and their choice to kill & disable.

Maybe I feel this way because I lived through the AIDS crisis in the early 90s as an out lesbian in a diverse queer community. I watched friends die — both before the meds came ‘96 and long after. *Everyone* I knew who “made it” to the cocktail has since died. All of them decades before they would’ve without being infected by HIV. The ramifications of such viruses are horrible. The tragedy is visceral. And when you can easily prevent spreading such a thing around, you should. Absolutely should.

America loves the idea of being a hero. We fantasize about being in a crisis, and how we will step up — running into a burning building to save a kid, or standing in front of the tank to save democracy. These ideas are in our movies, in our rhetoric, in our dreams. We imagine ourselves helping the victims in a car crash, or stopping a crime. People imagine themselves 1) willing to sacrifice personal safety to help others, and 2) capable of recognizing the need and fulfilling it immediately.

And yet...

The ask right now is *so* simple. Wear a paper mask. It’s not dangerous. Not incredibly hard. It’s not like grabbing an AK-47 away from a shooter, or swimming a distance to save someone who’s drowning.

And it’s not something people have to decide in a split second. We’ve had years to learn about the details and prepare. There’s time to think.

And yet...

Clearly most people are not capable of being a hero. Not even to save themselves.

This American hero complex does not help people be heroes (whether they are in the U.S. or not). People get so attached to the idea they are definitely “good people” who always do The Right Thing, *how dare someone come along to suggest anything else.*

But delusion does not help any of us become the people we want to be. Only a stark look at reality, unpleasant as it might be, along with a willingness to change in whatever ways needed. That’s when growth happens. And alignment with our values.

I’ve had people seriously freak out when I ask them to wear a mask while in the same room as me. They go ballistic. Even try to get me in professional trouble (unsuccessfully).

I’m not quite sure if they freak out because they are so deeply attached to any version of reality that lets them believe the pandemic is over. Or if it’s because they are attached to believing themselves to be a righteous hero, and they are offended at the idea their current actions are hurting other people.

@jensimmons That's terrible; it's always been shocking to me that people are so offended one way or another by masks; to try to sabotage someone's career over mask usage is beyond the pale. I've seen videos of actual violence.

I don't wear masks generally – I mean, at some point we gotta move on, they don't help much (if at all), at least the vulnerable people close to me are vaccinated, etc. I've had it twice and I'm stocked up on tests and happy to test if anyone asks before I come over or whatever. If I come in a store I'm happy to wear one if the store provides it (I stopped carrying one around long ago) although I probably won't stay as long, and if the store ever didn't let me in as a result I'd totally understand.

But if you want to wear one, A+. You do you.

I was kind of hoping the idea of wearing masks when you're sick would catch on, but it seems like instead of that they just got weirdly political.