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I have a co-worker who is seventy-something. He has a trans nephew, and it couldn't be clearer that he adores the boy, and is very happy to see him happy. He gracefully and gratefully accepted my correction on terminology and pronoun use. He understands that the onus is on him to learn and change.
If he can do it, so can anyone else. Don't let anyone try to tell you they're too old to change, or too used to the way things are.
@engelbart
On the off chance that this is an honest question, I'll answer.
It's on him because it is his responsibility to recognize and respect other people. It is ALL our responsibilities to do that.
Just like, if you grew up in an environment where racist/sexist/offensive jokes were normalized, it's your responsibility to recognize that it's bad, and not do that or encourage it in others.
Is it really hard for you to see how being respectful is your responsibility and no one else's?