It's not a logical necessity that parents scar their kids.

The way I saw this argued somewhere is that parents are either capable of 'saying no' to their children or they are not, hence either your parents hurt you or you never grow up leading to you hurting lots of people including yourself.

The problem here is that this 'saying no' mixes in both harmful parenting techniques and good ones.

Good parenting involves saying no to your child in a way that does not scar them.

One very important thing here, in my view, is parents having real conversations with their children in which the parent allows themself to be vulnerable.