eqyo @eqyo@qoto.org

I have a lot of insecurity around expectations.
(I am of course talking about the mathematical expectation operator.)

I see I last posted here before uni started back up... makes sense, I guess. It has been quite a month so far.

Besides uni being pretty difficult again, I've also been to a remarkable number of social events (by my standards at least); lots of music-making, some tense email exchanges...

Weird start of the year, but definitely good on the whole.

thu-fri:
18:45
00:45
13:00

fri-sat:
-

sat-sun:
02:15
02:15
08:00

sun-mon:
02:15
02:30
14:00

mon-tue:
00:30
01:30
12:30

tue-wed:
23:00
01:00
13:00

and last night:
01:15
01:45
14:00

Status update re: becoming a functional human being again.

Time remaining: a week

Current progress:

mon-tue:
03:15
03:30
07:30 (not slept)

tue-wed:
01:15
01:45
15:00

last night:
02:15
02:30
07:45 (not fucking slept AGAIN, this time because there were people in the building making noise at 05)

Shit, I have to become a functional human again soon.
I need to start my bedtimes back in order.

and again...
03:15
03:30
14:00

02:15
03:15
13:00

mon-tue:
03:
03:
13:30

last night:
03:
03:
14:00

Oof, that's not very good...

Starting this again.

01:30
02:00
13:00

Puberty is usually a time in which kids throw about half of the crap that the world has given them back in its face. It is mostly very sad but also a bit cathartic.

My default reaction when I see a parent being an asshole to their child is now to think, "Ouch. Well... the teenage years are not going to be fun, and it will be your own damn fault".

(and I'm listening to Bach, hence the German)

Komm, süßer Reg'n!
Komm, selge Kühl'!
Komm, führe mich in Friede.

(I'm back and these temperatures are NOT for me)

The first post on my website is a response to a piece by Sarah Haider called "Accept by default".

You can read it here:
https://eqyo.neocities.org/en/essays/2022-07-re-haider-accept-by-default.html

Er is ook een Nederlandse versie:
https://eqyo.neocities.org/nl/essays/2022-07-re-haider-accept-by-default.html

Writing is hell... I've had this piece mostly worked out in my mind for over a week now, but typing it down is taking painfully long.

At least I have hope that translating it will be a lot less work than translating something written by someone else (I want to put it up in English and Dutch at the same time).

tue-wed:
00:00
01:15
10:45 (I think)

last night:
23:30
00:15
10:45

Back in the 23s! Now only to maintain this for the rest of the summer and beyond...

I think I'm going back to using nitter for following twitter users; the BirdsiteLIVE instance I was using was rather overloaded and consequently pushed tweets very infrequently - after a week of nothing I'd get all of that week's tweets in my timeline all at once.

Upon encountering something or someone you disagree with online, there are three options:
- dunk on
- talk with
- ignore

Honestly it feels like any social media where the culture is not to restrict oneself to the last two options will tend towards strong polarisation and lots of negativity.

(Option 2 is provided "ideally" and is not always applicable.)

Need a word for what we often call a blog but isn't really.
"Web-log" implies that it's like a log, that you're mostly talking about your life and your current thoughts; meanwhile many "blogs" are more accurately described as collections of essays.
I'm hoping to find a word for that which is shorter than "collection of essays".

Also, writing is hard. I'm so slow... 😑