They're after me... @frickinLasers@qoto.org

"I know you," said Alice. "Are you to present me with a puzzle? Perhaps one of you tells the truth and the other lies?"

"Oh no," said Bingle-Dum.

"We both lie," added Googl-E.

"But there must be a clue," pouted Alice. "For how else am I to tell when to trust what you say?"

"That's the point!" laughed Bingle-Dum.

"We don't know when we're telling the truth either!" said Googl-E, finishing the other's sentence.

Going to a puppy bowl party. Etiquette question: Is a 30 second butt sniff greeting too long? I don't want to embarrass myself.

If I were important enough to need a food taster to make sure that no one was trying to poison me, the smart wannabe assassin would target my bacon cos there’s no way on earth I’m letting some other bastard get more than a sniff of that.

The only time I feel remotely chef-like is when I press down on a sandwich I’ve made and it goes ‘crunch’.

0 days since I lost my glasses while wearing them

I cannot adequately explain in words how much I love doing nothing.

Love the One you're with
(If you can't be with the one you love)
#ValentineShameSongs
#HashtagGames

Jessie's Girl

#ValentineShameSongs​
#HashtagGames
#14DaysOfValentines​
#NoEffort

#ValentineShameSongs

Tainted love

https://youtu.be/XZVpR3Pk-r8

Creep

#ValentineShameSongs
#HashtagGames
#14DaysOfValentines

#ValentineShameSongs
I Hate Myself for Loving You
#HashtagGames

If you're coming over from the birdsite, why not follow some folks, boost, reply and engage? Pull up a chair and stay a while ...

People have real conversations on Mastodon. We think you'll like it here. 🤠

(& maybe stick around even after that hellsite comes back.) #TwitterMigration

Twitter

#twitter

🚨🚨🚨 COME AND WORK WITH ME (LITERALLY) 🚨🚨🚨

Job adverts for roles within the UKCP Science into Services team here at the Met Office can be viewed here:

Foundation Climate Scientist: https://lnkd.in/ee8d2Yi4

Climate Scientist: https://lnkd.in/e8f-PNpv

A great team doing vital, but exciting #Climate #science

Closing date: 13th February 2023

#ClimateChange #Adaptation #RiskAssessment

Smother Me Elmo

#RejectedBabyToys
#HashItOut
#HashtagGames #HashtagGame

I sure do hate plugging stuff but I worked really hard on the new podcast about Six Flags New Orleans (with guest Jake Williams, director of the "Closed For Storm" documentary about it, no less), and it's not like I make any money off it, so you know what? Go listen to it and learn about the United States' biggest, spookiest abandoned amusement park.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/abandoned-amusement-parks-six-flags-new-orleans/id1619808235?i=1000598652073

If you are a person who is new to the fediverse, or who’s returning to explore after a while away, I can affirmatively say (as someone who has been here right from the start) that we’re all glad to have you, and excited to see what you share, and inspired by the new ideas you have for what’s possible here.

Anyway, now that a ton of journalists are flocking back to Mastodon... you should read my article about how all your articles about Mastodon "slumping" were bullshit. https://www.techdirt.com/2023/02/08/lazy-reporters-claiming-fediverse-is-slumping-despite-massive-increase-in-usage/

Today I made low-carb pizza for the first time.
Today, (coincidentally) I also made low-carb pizza for the last time.

"When one door closes, another opens"

Not if you live in a properly functioning house.