Marquita @maq@qoto.org

I might still toot about my thoughts while doing research here, hopefully, lol..... and this time is english, I should not indulged myself in maderin anyway....

and some good data and results in my research???
(but i don't really want my colleges find my mastodon through this and watch how halarious I am everyday) so no personal stuff would probably be a better solution

Until now, unlisted message is allowed in any particular language you desired.
But actually I am worried that my nonsense regards to my research experience is a little off the topic here.... I am now looking for new place, lol

研究生到现在，完成了一篇文章初稿，然后受制于导师的效率……好在自己还算有想法，反正继续着下一篇，导师也算是reasonable，总体来讲虽然不是特别好也算过得去
一边准备英语一边准备读博的事，我这种纠结的人总是要考虑各种坏情况……
1.要是导师不够好：……我对于选择reasonable的导师还是比较有心得的，加上自己在研究上还算有些想法，在最艰难的情况下应该也能完成文章，只是不是特别好。总体而言还可以handle
2.经济：个人主义的选择就要有个人主义的后果，这五年来已经尽力开源节流，未来更将如此，至少看着那些number应该能撑过一年最艰难的情况，也算可以handle
3.各种mental problems
其实这几年的研究倒是把我锻炼得比原来皮实很多，毕竟handle过那么多困难，未来还将持续handle，有时候阻碍研究的不是科学问题，而是日常琐碎……我对于自己的mental problem也相当有经验……也算可以handle
4.承认自己的科研写作还不够好，但是一直在努力，也一直在发现自己过去写的东西不忍卒睹……但是，未来一定比现在写得更好……哪怕是现在的水平也勉强搞出来文章，只是还不够好，这点也算可以handle

既然如此，那就精卫填海吧！
试了才知道能不能做到（by我导师，lol）

No, it'll never be normal again.
I should knew that, I already knew that.

And I think the biggest problem is that, deep down, I think my words don't matter.

我终于直观地认识到depression在多大程度上影响了我的语言能力。大概是，as the world turning upside down, language doesn't mean anything at all.

Nothing is better than working today, I must be insane....lol
Working is the only way to make a living in this gray world.
Yep, I am definitely insane..

Another day of depressing, lying in bed and try not to think about work.
With this crazy world going on, work from home is such a high demand.

I think I might getting to know this fediverse a little bit, after 20 min of researching😂 I GUESS this means I get an account to write about all my nonsense, without interrupting people (probably should choose a smaller instance, my bad🤐 but if I make everything UNLISTED nothing will appear in public timeline right?) Beside, this could force me to use English more frequently... lol

New to fediverse, not sure what I am doing... let's read users manual, if there is one.....