What we should all keep in mind this holiday season is that the story of Joseph and Mary at the inn is really a story of a husband failing to plan ahead for a trip he knew was coming forever.

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"What do you MEAN there's no room at the inn? Didn't you have a reservation?"

"Didn't make one."

"Didn't.... How, on Earth, could you not make a reservation when you knew EVERY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY was going to have to go to their hometown for this damn census? You've known about this trip for MONTHS, Joseph!"

"I dunno! It was a government-mandated trip, I just... Assumed they'd handle it."

"Assu~ WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HANDLE IT, JOSEPH?! YOU'RE A CARPENTER! Did you notice the local Romans offering sweet jobs to fabricate some new inns where we came from? No? Any idea why that might be Joseph?"

"I DON'T KNOW MARY! I really feel like you're putting a lot of blame on me right now."

"GEE JOSEPH, THAT MIGHT BE BECAUSE I'M PUTTING A LOT OF BLAME ON YOU RIGHT NOW! BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T THINK TWO MONTHS AHEAD AND NOW YOU'RE WIFE'S GONNA GIVE BIRTH WHILE STARING AT A HORSE'S ASS! AND ALSO THE BUTT OF A HORSE ACROSS THE ROOM!!!"