Benzie's gang ✅ @rdaily@qoto.org

Me getting ready for work in the ER three years ago:

From early in the pandemic:

Someone left an N95 mask and a pump bottle of hand sanitizer inside their car, in plain sight.

Wrote a note explaining that if you're outside the car, you need to be wearing both.

I put it right on the steering wheel where they can't miss it, after I broke in to steal that stuff.

Andy Ihnatko

“The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.”
― Terry Pratchett

Flats fixed

Funny story

Bears

Nuclear submarine

Missus mate

Man in Delorean

@scottsigler:
Diet is going well. Cottage cheese isn't so bad if you put stuff in it, like grapes, blueberries, Fritos, Hershey's Kisses or bacon.

From the Handmaiden's Tale.

What most clinicians do when they receive a laboratory report is, of course, to look up the normal range for the tests in question. … Traditionally, a normal range is calculated in such a way that it includes 95% of the results found in a group of normal or healthy persons, and, consequently, there is a 5% risk that a healthy person will present with an abnormal laboratory result. Then, imagine that you do ten tests on a normal person. In that case the risk that at least one of these tests is abnormal is (1 – 0.9510) which amounts to 0.40 or 40%. If you do twenty-five tests (and that is not uusual in clinical practice), this chance is 72%! As Edmond A. Murphy puts it so aptly, ‘Therefore, a normal person is anyone who has not been sufficiently investigated.’

— Henrik R. Wulff, Stig Andur Pedersen, and Raben Rosenberg, Philosophy of Medicine: An Introduction, 1990, citing Murphy’s The Logic of Medicine, 1976

A guy goes to his doctor for a visit. As he enters, a nun bursts out of his office screaming.
The guy asks, "what's up with the nun?"
The Doc says, "I told her she was pregnant."
The guy asks, "the nun is pregnant?"
The Doc answers, "no, but it certainly cured her hiccups!"

Wallpaper

Decoy

Evening is nigh

me: onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table

waiter: white or red?

me, trying to impress my date: whichever onion the chef prefers

THE LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

THE LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, or game piece, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner of the room.