RESEARCH LAB GOTHIC

There is a fed ex man waiting at the entrance to the restricted area. He is trying to deliver a package to someone who has never worked in the lab. There is always a fed ex man waiting at the door. The fed ex men never come back out.

The LB broth is contaminated. The LB broth is always contaminated. The LB broth comes out of the autoclave contaminated.

You get a message saying there is cake in the break room. There is cake in the break room every day. You always go to the break room as soon as you get the message, but the cake is always gone by then.

The PI is working on a grant. The PI has been working on a grant for years. You have never seen your PI. You’re not sure if the PI really exists.

The undergrads left the lid off the pipette tip box again. “You’ll contaminate them,” you say. “When will the undergrads learn?” There aren’t any undergrads in the lab.

There are biohazard signs everywhere. There’s a biohazard sign on your door, on your desk, on all your equipment, on your pencil. You are a biohazard.

You break a small, useless piece of plastic by gently touching it. You find out later it was the most important thing in the lab and costs $60,000 to replace.

Everyone is thanking each other. You thank the person who gives you tubes to process and they thank you. No one is sure who is doing whom a favor. None of you are actually grateful.

A new machine has appeared in the lab overnight. No one ordered it. No one knows what it does or how to use it. There is a webinar from the company that sent it to you tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. They have already come and done preventative maintenance on it.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r/labrats/comments/d4t8fr/research_lab_gothic/