There was this mindset I had for the longest time — for most of my 20s and 30s — where I took the truth value of "reputable" or "authoritative" sources for granted and would vehemently defend them. I'm more prepared to reexamine and put up an argument against them now, because I've lived long enough now to see statements from such sources be proven wrong many times before. Also, you can have several "reputable" sources contradicting each other. There is a whole lot about life that isn't as clear-cut as claimed. Often quite serious matters too. People die because authority figures say things that are wrong.
@thor That's perfectly reasonable. In my 20s I believed that doing the right things and playing by the rules would result in a decent life. Now in my 30s and having a good decade of my life being taken advantage of, I'm not bitter about it. I learned many things and that is priceless.
Friends of mine who went off the path are far more successful than I am. I'm not jealous of their success but I am relieved that they have good lives.
I've already tried challenging people or businesses that have belittled my work and me as a person. Surprisingly I was successful in besting most and in nontrivial ways. It resulted in me being seen as belligerent and irrational by many. It doesn't matter if I was correct, acted in good faith and saw it through at my own expense. The experts are always right but not always correct.
To defend what is correct against the powers that be is almost entirely futile. My efforts were praised in private and I was treated warmly. To quote a wise man who saw it play out, "You proved that you were better than the expert. They were thankful that you saved their ass but you are seen as a threat because of what you did in good faith. The threat that would have hit them got taken care of by you. NDA? Even if there was no NDA, whatever you presented would be dismissed. You worked hard and you did good work but you were disposable."
To summarize, experts tell no lies that stand out to normal eyes. Going against the tide is career suicide. Doing the right thing might very well cost one everything. I don't have any regrets, I just want to get over the result of that experience and other similar events. This is the reason why I want to work on equipment or something very different.
The damage is done. I can't forget what I know and love. I can do something else and do what I love in my free time. Once bitten, twice shy. I just repeated being bitten in the hopes that it would pay off.
