evaluating my internet boyfriends part 1

bdg: pettable, much like a dog. eager to please. hair that is good to ruffle. pleasant singing voice. necessarily platonic due to his powerful sub aura repelling my powerful sub aura like a magnet

evaluating my internet boyfriends part 2

bill wurtz: stoic. calm. the sort of boyfriend who stands on the balcony of a hotel and stares at the traffic for a long time and then says something he thinks is really cool but it's not. nevertheless it's an extreme turn on

evaluating my internet boyfriends part 3

adam neely: playfully insults you. like a lot. like to the point where you kind have to ask him to tone it down and he's a bit incredulous at first but he gets it cos he's a sweetie really. also he's an absolute animal. absolute filth. yowzers

evaluating my internet boyfriends part 4

hainbach: large and extremely soft. cuddle daddy. his voice is calm and low and thoughtful and when you walk in the door after a bad day he can soothe you with just a few words - "good to have you back"