In the past two weeks, I drove over 2,000 miles (in two 15-hour marathons) across the southeastern United States.

Here are some notable things I saw:

1) There was a camel in Tennessee. I swear I didn't imagine it. It was hanging out with a bunch of horses.

2) On two separate occasions, I saw several cars refuse to move over for an ambulance with lights and siren on. On both occasions, I was in a deep-south deep-red state, and the license plates of the blockers were local. Southern hospitality is dead.

3) Those of us who live in Florida take for granted just how good our roads are. Some states just don't give a fuck.

4) Trump 2024 flags/signs were shockingly rare (especially compared to 2016/2020). The few that remained looked like jury-rigged upgrades to dilapidated signs from previous election cycles.

5) Professional truckers suck now. You used to be able to rely on their professionalism, but these days, they'll cruise in the left-hand lane at 5 under the limit and frequently look like they have to catch themselves from running off the road.

6) I saw a truck with a double trailer (the kind with the hinge in the middle) completely lose control after a tire blew. After careening back and forth across two lanes of traffic trying to regain control, the structure of the back trailer gave up and burst open, spilling furniture across the highway. It was pretty spectacular, especially as it looked like nobody got hurt, but I feel sorry for that driver who had a veeeery bad day.

7) I got to see the sky break itself on a beautiful Illinois farm! During the total eclipse, roosters were crowing, crickets were chirping, and the cows all started to bunch up and move towards the barn!

The ring of ethereal silver fire in the sky was pretty mind-blowing too.

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