People changing over how others reacted is actually just part of socialization but they will say it is abhorrent.
How privileged are some of these defenders of "being your true self"? Some have barely suffered negative consequences over the abusive ideas and behaviors they profess.
If their true self is a racist misogynist maybe they should try being someone else. Or maybe try changing?
But changing would mean turning their abuse off, but they cannot. They no longer know how to interact with others without imposing themselves over them. So they oppose being cancelled instead. They oppose people defending themselves from them.