So, I've been thinking and let my thoughts sort of run wild in regards to recent events in Pittsburgh.

I realized that as someone who experienced Antisemitism growing up, who was not as insulated from hate as many Jewish people born and raised in the US, that my feeling on the recent events might be different than those used to American Culture.

American Culture is beautiful in that in many places there is a surprising lack of overt antisemitism and racism. I remember growing up there was a lot work being done to combat racism. To combat antisemitism- someone, somewhere saw the problems of the previous generations and decided they wanted to move away from those 'bad, old days'.

Now I live in Israel. People are killed here for being Jewish. That isn't to say that it doesn't go both ways- there are idiots here, too, consumed with hatred that will kill Palestinians for the dubious "Crime" of being Palestinian.

Israelis, though, are sort of used to it. Someone was killed in the territories, someone was stabbed to death in East Jerusalem, a man opened fire in Tel Aviv and killed six.

Ultimately, all those crimes were committed with hate in mind. To kill the Jew. There is no secret to that desire among some of our neighbors here.

But how much worse it must be to have the wool pulled out from over your eyes and see, for a moment, what is growing in the USA right now. What is being built in the United States.

How that beautiful 'Salad-bowl/Melting-pot' mentality is being eroded away.

I'm going to venture a guess, although I can not confirm, that this feeling of loss is particularly strongly felt in black american communities. Since I first felt the sting of antisemitism- for someone hating me just for being born who I am- I've felt a certain kinship with black Americans, African Americans, POCs. I'm not sure what is 'correct' at this point in that regard. I'm going to stick with Black Americans. That's what I was always familiar with, and I apologize if it is offensive in any way.

Please correct me if it is.

I read the news, blogs, watch Youtube videos, and immerse myself in media. Media that shows a people being made to suffer.

I remember working in Corrections as a Corrections Officer in South Carolina. The racial disparity in our prison was somewhat disconcerting. I'm still looking for a "good reason" why so many more black Americans would be incarcerated than white Americans. The fact that these people, regardless of ethnic background, are also allowed to be slaves for the state is also quite upsetting. I'm of the mind that if something like Slavery is wrong, it is always wrong- regardless of one's position in the criminal justice system.

I remember the Rabbi of my childhood- when my Mother worked at Temple Bat Yam in Sanibel Island. Murray Saltzman taught me about justice. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray_Saltzman )

He taught me a lot of things. It was a retirement pulpit for him, but he was one of the nicest and wisest men I've ever met. (On an unrelated note, I also knew Mandy Patinkin's uncle at that same shul. A fantastically sweet man. )

Justice, I was taught, is an important part of Judaism. It is an important part of being a human being. Being able to recognize injustice isn't always easy, but we have to be on the look out.

Not to seek it fanatically, of course, a fanatic will always find something- but to be aware and be wary that it doesn't take much to slide into an unjust society. That we, as people and citizens of this world *must* never tolerate that slide. That we must look out for each other.

Jews have this thing they believe called 'Tikkun Olam' to heal the world. I sometimes find it difficult to see even my fellow Jews getting off their asses to actually do the work there.

Let me explain:

I have Bipolar type 2. I have been paralyzed often in my life in doing simple things. Simple acts of work and self-care.

At my worst I won't shower, or clean up anything at all, or wash my clothing. I'll come home and sleep. I'll struggle to go to work. It's depression, most certainly, and that might be a reason- but even well medicated as I am now it is sometimes very difficult to do the work.

And it is hard work. Taking care of just yourself is hard work- it takes dedication and discipline. How much more discipline and dedication would we need, as a species, to actually repair this world.

To fix this most broken world.

And yet, I have to remind myself of the beauty in this world. I have to, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to function.

I want to see a world, in my life time, that is more beautiful than it ever has been before. These are, to me and many, frightening times. I feel like we are coming into our adolescence as a species. We've got a whole heck of a lot of growing left to do, and we're really making bad choices- but in our honest hearts we, as a species, are generally good kids.

Still, it really is galling to have to see people live with that kind of soul crushing hatred. Being treated like shit for your actions is one thing- being treated like shit for your genetics? That's just bullshit and it always will be.