I don’t even know if my posts make sense for readers, honestly. My English is a bit rusty and there is no feedback most of the time as I write into the void. Do you people read me? Are the texts clear? Or is it an indistinguishable mess of words?

Here is what I’ve been up to. First and foremost, new lab. Now my main work is to use neural networks to predict crystal stability. It took me a while to write and train the model for this, about a year along with studying and an internship. However, now that it’s mostly ready, I have to do an experiment.

It is not strictly necessary, but my department requires master’s dissertation to contain some experiments. I had to make one for bachelor diploma and now the history repeats itself. However, now I am in a different lab, with far better apparatus and work ethics. The experiments are mostly made with solid-state synthesis, which makes thing way easier (weigh – press – anneal – analyze – repeat).

Apart from this and an ungodly amount of papers I needed to study in the field and crippling burnout from personal problems, the last year went well. Now I have a week to finish most of the experiment and prepare something like the dissertation proposal. It is a discriminatory practice my department uses to make some students’ life more difficult. In my case it’s the theoretical nature of my work that is causing problems.

But I’ll power through this eventually.

@academicalnerd Hi there young d'Artagnan!

> Do you people read me? Are the texts clear? Or is it an indistinguishable mess of words?

Yes. Yes. No.

But given the question, I am starting to wonder whether you are not some ChatGPT, or something. Given your English lang skills, it's surprising you'd even ask that.

@academicalnerd I am thinking of you every now and then. Since I visit fedi only occasionally (let's call it intermittent), I easily miss your updates, so I need to explicitly go to your profile to check - like now. That + the "intermittent" leads to very occasional check-ins. Anyway, wishes of luck there and of course I am curious how's does your non-academic life _feel_ in the country which is becoming stranger to me day by day.

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@FailForward

I don't think any comedian, no matter how high, could come up with the things that happen here occasionally. I'm looking for PhD opportunities now and aim to have a way to get the rest of the family out, if need be. Also, hopefully getting married amidst this mess in a few months.

How does it feel to be here? On good days it's mostly anxiety, on bad days -- despair. However, since avoidance is the primary strategy for both people and the governmental structures in authoritarian regimes, many people simply ignore the situation in their day-to-day life. I do this sometimes too, because it is impossible to keep this horrid mess in the head at all times while taking care of the family and working. One has to look for balance between being aware but useless and being useful and caring for their loved ones, but ignorant at times.

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