This is such a bleak fucking planet
@chestycougth Yeah, that's the one
🅰️ ®️ ✝️ U
@OpenComputeDesign @chestycougth If we could put the humans out of frame always it might be pretty ok?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth
Even without humans I'm really not a fan of this planet tbh
@OpenComputeDesign @admitsWrongIfProven why so? Personally I think it has a lot of cool stuff going on even if you ignore the biology
@chestycougth @admitsWrongIfProven
Without humans, all other life still sucks. And without life, it's just another big rock in a field of big rocks
@OpenComputeDesign
Is the life on this specific planet really the issue?
Might there be a confounding issue?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth The problem really, is that the universe is just really cruel and uncaring.
@OpenComputeDesign
It is. But what makes this unbearable is humans, how they act, not the universe, right?
The universe is our playground, and we collectively chose to make it a place of torture.
Not any one person, but the choices, influenced by previous choices... might i have done anything useful if my ancestors had not be conditioned to be useless or harmful?
Might you have? What is keeping you, the past or the present?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth
I mean, because I am a human, I would say humans are probably the worst things in the universe. But even if I was the only human in existence, I would still deeply dislike the universe
@OpenComputeDesign
But why? I'm all for some nice, thorough disdain, but what is the issue?
I presented some disdain of mine, but what is yours?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth
I guess my main problem with the universe is, it has no justice
@OpenComputeDesign
Sounds a bit cliché, but.... who hurt you? Who, specifically, needs justice to be applied to them?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth
Well, speaking generally, the world is absolutely overflowing with injustice. Speaking personally, me. I am injust
@OpenComputeDesign
That is illogical. If you were truely injust, you would welcome the injustice.
What exactly are you doing that you judge to be wrong, and what factors are contributing to this ongoing injustice emenating from you?
No thought crimes here. I am asking about doing, not thinking.
@OpenComputeDesign
Isn't that a bit black and white? Would you really wreck havoc if you relaxed? Are you sure, or just afraid and beating yourself up because you are not sure?
Not being alone with anyone vulnerable might be enough to provide safety in terms of not doing anything wrong, do you really need to beat yourself up to stop harm?
Yes, I think so. I do not think I can be trusted to any significant degree
@OpenComputeDesign I never said that you should be trusted... look at my toot again, will you? I'm not alone with vulnerable people either, who needs that kind of responsibility?
The problem is, what I want in life requires that I bet trusted with vulnerable people
@OpenComputeDesign Ofc, you want to care, i got that much.
Whatever happened to you was probably not planned or even thought about. You are the next iteration, thinking, caring.
Can you accept that while not perfect, you are trying?
@OpenComputeDesign Generally... did you notice people stop caring in this general hellhole western civilization has become?
I think still caring and trying is a special thing.
trying is not good enough. I have to be perfect
@OpenComputeDesign So you do trial runs in controlled conditions. Have you never heard of engineering or are you so poisoned by current society that you would not consider a rational approach?
@admitsWrongIfProven I don't have this option
@OpenComputeDesign Then it is not your fault.
@OpenComputeDesign I mean this was the point all along. If i thought it was, i would not have talked to you. There are a lot of people out there harming others, i may scream at them but i do not talk to them.
Good decision to not put anyone at risk, you are doing well. I'm sorry you are suffering, but you are not harming anyone, that's good. Take pride in that, there are sadly too many that do not do that.
@OpenComputeDesign @admitsWrongIfProven Medication might be good for you. I'm on fluoxetine. I took it for a few years and felt like I was getting no benefit. I stopped and still felt the same, but then I was getting more and more emotional and unable to concentrate and my grades went from 90-100% to 60-50%. I started back after that and I've been much calmer and happier. We are just chemistry after all.
@chestycougth @admitsWrongIfProven
I can't trust medication. Even if it works, it's fickle, and may not always be available
@OpenComputeDesign @admitsWrongIfProven You can always try it and drop it if it doesn't work. I've had an on again-off again relationship with meds for years but it is worth trying because you won't have to stick to it if you don't like it
@chestycougth @admitsWrongIfProven
the problem is if it _does_ work
@OpenComputeDesign @admitsWrongIfProven If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. But if you don't try it then it definitely won't work. So you might as well try it and get half a chance of it working instead of not taking anything and having 0% chance of things getting better
@chestycougth @admitsWrongIfProven
If it works, I'll become dependent on it, and that is dangerous
@OpenComputeDesign Yep, dependency is to be taken seriously and not just be accpeted by default.
@OpenComputeDesign
Heh, funny. The music i am currently listening to just contained "meine gefühle werden abgestellt", translated "my feelings are turned off".
Pertinent?
@admitsWrongIfProven @chestycougth
It's not exactly what I do, but what I _would_ do if I relaxed the prison of my mind that keeps me this way