@matrix I was just being silly anyway, I didnt mean that, it just made me laugh.

But if we are being serious I find men need validation too just in very different ways.

@freemo Maybe studying a large sample of people would prove me wrong, but from my personal observations I think that men don't care that much about validation from men, but care quite a lot about validation from women while women care about validation from everyone.

@freemo @matrix "men don't care that much about validation from men"
Upvotes, likes, (e-)peen measuring contests makes me think otherwise.

@likho

I dont really agree with the whole men dont care so much about validation from other men.

If anything I'd say the opposite is true. Part of what is validating to a man is coming across as being strong, so strong they dont care about what people think of them. Therefore part of the need to be validated from men comes with it the desire to mask that need for validation, as it appears weak. But hiding the need for validation is just one of the elements men use in order to feel validated and to get that validation.

So I'd argue the real difference is just that men while wanting validation from other men just as much are far less likely to be secure enough to show that insecurity where women are much more comfortable showing their insecurity and make little effort to hide their desire for validation.

@matrix

@freemo
True, very true!

@freemo
That's an interesting way to frame this and you are probably right, however I don't necessarily think that such behavior is just a mask as masks are quite difficult to maintain and get even harder when under pressure thus such a behavior would be contraproductive.
@likho

@matrix

Many would argue it is a counter productive behavior, others would argue that such a mask often does fail as you suggest. Neither of which seem to be arguments that they arent true/valid however. There is no shortage of counterproductive behaviors that are hard for people to hide.

@likho

@likho
But that's competition. When it comes to social media, it's women, especially teen girls who are most negatively affected by social media.
@freemo

@matrix @likho @freemo
c630fd5b59db8316016d560c1861626…

@likho @freemo @matrix What makes you say that?

@likho @freemo This: https://archive.fo/gxdWu

Or this:

@likho @freemo @matrix I'm not surprised that they're generally the minority on social media then.

@likho
Teens or women?
Instagram is majority female. Facebook is about equal. Twitter is majority male.
@freemo

@matrix @likho @freemo pintrest and onlyfans are probably majority female too

@fuck

Well onlyfans is basically just pornhub except that you have to pay for it and only get softcore... so I'd expect most of the accoutns are women and most of the clients are men.

@matrix @likho

@likho @freemo @matrix I assumed teen girls. I know Reddit is mostly men. Twitter and Facebook are mostly older.

@likho @freemo And before TikTok came along the hip social media among teens was Instagram

@matrix @likho @freemo Couple years ago, a coworker told me she overheard kids in the grocery store saying "only boomers use facebook; everyone cool uses instagram!".

@cowanon

In europe, or at least in the netherlands, it was snapchat.. no idea what it is right now.

@matrix @likho

@matrix

If anything I'd say this data supports my assertion and debunks your own...

The key to seeing why is realizing that the survey on the left does **not** represent the prevalence of harassment of the two groups (which based on your conclusion I suspect you took it as). Notice the wording of the survey to see why

> Adults who say they have experienced each type of harassment...

The left hand chart therefore is not showing us how often each group actually gets harassed but rather how often each group **perceives** harassment against them. for example if men were harassed as equally as women but had a much stronger sense of wanting validation, then they would rank higher (as they do) on the left hand chart since they would be more sensitive to the dislike from others (typically how harassment manifests) and thus would indicate more often they have been harassed even if they get harassed no more often than women who might happen to have a higher threshold.

So in other words the left chart shows us that men feel as if a particular interaction is harassment more often than women. the chart on the right however shows the other part of what I said, that men have a much stronger desire to put on a show for others to make it seem like they are less effected.. the second part basically just asks "is it a big deal that you get harassed" and men are more likely to say no. This shows they have a much stronger desire to play it off as if they are uneffected.

Combine these two charts and it would paint a picture where one reasonable interpretation is as I said, men have as strong (or apparently stronger) desire to be validated, and as such are more sensitive to signals that suggested they are not validated (like harassment), and an even stronger desire to hide that desire for validation by playing it off as is they were unaffected by it.

I mean afterall, if you dont consider harassment a big deal, and if that were true, then those same men should see something as not being harassment when others see it as harassment... so its the disparity there that is so telling.

@likho

@freemo @likho I understand what you are saying and based on that I think that the survey cannot be used to support neither of our points as there is no way of verifying the participant's claims. I also don't think that perceiving something as harassment automatically means you are going to care about it more.

@matrix

I agree, there isnt enough information here to draw a grim conclusion on anything really. My only point is that it could be interpreted to support my point, we would need more information to see if that really were to bear out as valid though.

@likho

@matrix @likho @freemo why do girls hate computers? is it because they can't learn programming or engineering?

@matrix @likho @freemo too many men are pussy faggots who don't even have courage to be a catgirl in VR and suck on another catgirl's titty for milk.