Every dog ever:

Henlow frend, I am your friendly neighborhood pupper. I have came over to tell you I love you, and also snausages. May I sniff your butt, you are welcome to sniff mine too. Have I mentioned that I love snausages? I will love you even if you dont have any, but if you do i will love you even more!

Every cat ever:

Fuck off! .. oh wait you have snacks, ok ill take them, but still fuck off!