"Do you have to, or do you choose to?"
A thread on responsibility and empowerment.
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Let's play spot the pattern! 😊
"He puts so much pressure on himself."
"I brought it on myself."
"She's her own worst enemy."
"It's your choice to feel hurt or not."
"You should practise self care."
"She's a worrier."
"You shouldn't take things so seriously."
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When I spot a pattern, I ask myself two things:
1. What's the sum effect, and
2. Who benefits from me believing this?
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No. 1.
Outcome:
If we collectively believe (towards anyone suffering or struggling) that, "it's their doing," "it's their choice," and, "it's their job - and theirs alone - to sort it."
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Then,
a) All the responsibility goes firmly onto the person suffering, for their current situation (it's their fault, & nobody else's).
b) No one feels any need to try and help them (besides telling them to go fix it themselves).
No. 2.
Who benefits?
The status quo. Society. Those afraid of change.
Those who prefer to not take responsibility for things, whether collectively or individually.
Those of us who don't like to rock the boat too much, or too scarily, by pointing 'up' 😳 🛶
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And those of us who really like to feel we've 'helped' 💜...
(since the theory goes that we empower people when we tell them things are 'within their power')
...but actually are pretty clueless as to how to help people, and probably overwhelmed ourselves 🥴
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The context:
We live in an exploitative system.
People are daily discriminated against, hurt, betrayed, abused, bullied, and coerced (& invariably made to internalize that coercion).
Many are poor. Or alone. They get used by others. Shamed for weakness, or for failure.
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@KatyElphinstone All of your writing is good. Do you want to do something more active about this? (Offering to work together best we can / find a way). Sticking ourselves together is part of the doing and part of the 'how?' part :)
What do you think anyway / how brave are you... without need for extreme?
