I joked about my #newyearsresolution a few days ago, but jokes aside, I do have a real #resolution and I think it is worth sharing.

https://qoto.org/@girls_can/109611162702305528

So here it is: my 2023 #newyearsresolution is to become a #renaissanceProf. What do I mean by that? The 1960s, 70s, and 80s were a slower time with objectively lower expectations for professors. Classes were smaller and so were budgets. The pace of publishing was more manageable and overall people seemed to engage in more deep though, synthesis, and reflection.
The hectic pace and toxic productivity of #academia has transformed the professoriate into manic information capitalists.

I was reading #PollutionIsColonialism by @maxliboiron and encountered the concept of extractive reading, which really resonated. I want to sit with texts, not mine them for valuable nuggets. I want to build good relations with my students, mentors and research partners. I want to lay deep, thoughtful academic roots. I want to spend more time lifting people up than climbing to the summit of some achievement mountain. I want to focus on the parts of the job that nourish me.

In the pre-tenure slog I grew my research program like a cancer, always afraid to say “no.” Convinced I had to seize every opportunity and constantly prove my worth. And now I have brought in millions in research money, graduated >20 grad students, published >60 papers, expanded my lab footprint, and been promoted. And you know what? It still doesn’t feel successful enough. It never will. Because there is no end to the academic rat race (except burnout or retirement if that arrives first)

I’ve long sought a way to ramp down my research program to something more sustainable. But the only path seemed to be curmudgeonhood and bad Dept relations. You know this model; your department has one. The prof who avoids all service except for prestige roles and is so aggressively terrible at teaching that their classes are tiny and made degree optional. They’re like the academic honey badger who just does what they want and collegiality be damned. I don’t want that. I want good relations.

I was reading Sarah Cooley’s blog about how #professor identity and #selfworth gets tangled up in the job, and how the issue is more profound than a lack of work-life balance. She described it as an #addiction: being on an #achievementbender. Just like a drug, the successes have to keep getting bigger to even register. The highs are brief and the hustle is all you really have. Check it out: https://sarah-cooley.com/blog/2023/1/2/academia-identity-and-self-worth-a-reflection-on-2022

But how can I - post tenure - practically ramp down and realign my research program with my values without becoming an academic honey badger OR quitting a life-long achievement addiction cold turkey? I can’t just decide not to try to do my best.
I must realign my goals and set new success criteria that I commit to #celebrate in meaningful ways.
I need to not apply for all the grants, say no to potentially excellent grad students and interesting side projects. Engage less, but more deeply

@girls_can thanks for sharing this

Im still pre promotion, but feeling and struggling with similar things

And something has to change, or the burnout will get me

@RallidaeRule I definitely felt I had to stick it out and play along until tenure. But I guess the epiphany post-tenure was that it’s hard to slow down, even after tenure. The drive to keep growing runs deep. The imposter syndrome doesn’t go away. The addiction to success and acclaim is stronger than ever. And you have built up SO 👏MUCH 👏MOMENTUM👏 (like a run away train).