This kind of thing is why I'm still on Quora. I write a lot of satirical answers, but I can only aspire to write one half this good someday.

https://www.quora.com/I-heard-Davy-Jones-from-the-Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-was-a-real-person-but-in-the-movie-they-showed-him-to-have-a-squid-or-an-octopus-face-Does-that-have-any-historical-accuracy/answer/Alex-Cooper-81