@noctiluca Stephanie Coontz's "Marriage, a History" (https://openlibrary.org/books/OL7641298M/Marriage_a_History) was the book that showed me that virtually all the societal properties of gender and marriage-like relationships I thought were universal aren't.

BTW. I don't have secondary sources for things I've learnt from that book, so I'd appreciate any opinions on its accuracy.