There was a recent post that floated by that described how abusers will give an overwrought groveling #apology to keep the attention on themselves. The theatrics are there to show off the extent of their contrition so that there can be no doubt that the apology was successful.

If you apply this standard to entire demographics rather than individual abusers, this behavior is extremely common on the Fediverse.

On #Reddit, you’d mock it with

I would give to give a personal apology to each and every woman on behalf of my entire gender. Please send nudes.

The please send nudes was rarely—possibly literally never—appended except in mockery of Redditors with that attitude, but it was the implication.

Here in #Fedi, it’s not men apologizing to women on behalf of their gender. Instead, it’s cis people giving distracting prefaces such as “you have endured more than I could ever imagine” or it’s people using their RT button to elevate only the most radical minority voices they can find. Boosting “give their land back” does nothing to improve anyone’s life—where will you move all the people currently occupying it and how will they be convinced to leave?

I disagree with someone for one of two reasons:

I respect you and hope that you will sharpen your viewpoint through the art of polite disagreement. Sometimes you realize that you were right all along; at others, you find an incorrect hidden assumption and reframe your views; or, you realize that your conclusion is correct but your old reasoning was junk.
I do not respect you and give noxious disagreement because I suspect that you are the type of person who does not handle disagreement well.

I learned the first way from my family. My mother and brother loved to pick verbal fights with and play devil’s advocate to one another. The second way I learned from Reddit and social media.

In conclusion, there is a reason

Whatever you say, I disagree (within reason)

The (within reason) is the escape valve for when people dare me to disagree with obvious truths such as “Stalin could have beaten the Nazis faster and with massively fewer casualities if he did not have an obsession with assassinating his generals”.

Time to see if #Pleroma lets you pin things to your profile.

#introduction #introductions #AboutMe