I'm increasingly convinced that a lot of people on here really just wanted a private group chat with everybody they like and nobody they don't like.

Wanting that is completely understandable. It sounds lovely. But it's pretty important to understand why you can't have that, and that no amount of browbeating other people will make it appear.
social.polotek.net/@polotek/11

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This triggered some introspection. I'm fairly happy with my experience of Mastodon so far, I would say it's twitter but less addictive (less... spicy?)
Maybe that's what I want - Twitter but less spicy.

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