First day of first job
@togs so that was a thing. Not bad. Local small grocery. Lucky to have it tbh (I could be working at Walmart). Delivered groceries to elders, then worked register for first time ever. That made me feel dumb. I was also visibly uncomfortable at points. Exposure therapy. Half the point of this is to a) have a job and b) get some social skills. doing uncomfortable things is never easy and mistakes will happen and it will hurt, but that’s how we grow I guess. Fall down n, get up n+1
People really color the experience. It’s drab at best and drudge at worst, and yet just being real and existing is enough. I don’t care if you’re the most unimpressive mf in the world. It’s better then being alone with images that tell you to hate yourself and everyone else.
Anyways, I’m training for the deli starting 8 am tomorrow. I’ll be just as lost as when I started register, but I’ll slowly and painfully improve through lots of little moments of “oh god what do I do in this situation, focus”
Perhaps it’s too early too say that it’s all about getting out of the comfort zone, but even if it isn’t, I feel like that trivializes the effort. It sucks. The anxious feeling grows infinitely as time tends toward the moment.
