Queer is a word that promotes solidarity between disparate communities under the lgbtq banner and regardless of how anyone personally feels about that word when mainstream media runs "don't say queer" stories they're doing it to drive a wedge between those groups.
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I got the impression that the term "queer" was considered more of a derogatory term. So it was about not using terms that are deemed offensive. I don't think it drives a wedge, it just means no one actually knows what term we are meant to use.
I guess it is an example of negative reinforcement, If you tell me what term is acceptable. This very much depends on where you are in the world too.
