Crigl @Crigl@qoto.org

me and the boys stood naked in a circle passing the fleshlight around like a joint

it is 1996, i am a sweaty car salesman in a sports blazer. i am smoking a cigarette inside, my wife has left and took the kids with her, i am begging you to buy one of of my many pontiac trans ams that my boss was fooled into buying by my yugoslavian neighbor Rodavan who got out of the hague stuff on account of some very fortunate eastern european legal loopholes

if you don't have your ID with you we will also accept ego or superego

A love hotel called "The Fuckingham Palace" 🏩😛

School mottos are always the most@absolute fuckboy shit. “Service. Honor. Excellence.” “Loyalty. Taking Your Vitamins. Another Boring Thing.”

jelquin phoenix

we live in a society
we laugh in a society
we love in a society

damn, just found out about the extraction of surplus value, that shit sucks

Tu es un boomer, Harry.

Just woke up and my #ballsack has inflated to thrice its original size, hoping it's just a phase

dallas PD wants us to believe the witness that just died had 12 fucking pounds of weed in his apartment? was my guy swimming around in a scrooge mcduck weed vault in his apartment? like are you fucking kidding me my dudes. they definitely murdered him

why does the Chad Noble get to live in the inner castle while us serfs are stuck out here toiling in the fields? why does Lady Veronica always go for the asshole knights who will just treat them badly? us serfs have developed superior dexterity from working with our hands all day, which means better stamina and performance in bed. we really do live in a freaking monarchy, peasants rise up

If fathers are covered in skin, are forefathers covered in foreskin?

Why do people always think glasses make you look smart? You have to fail an exam to get them.

If an American learns another's social security number they can legally kill that person and take their assets and/or identity, yes? I have no idea what a social security number is but this is what I've gathered through cultural osmosis

I will never not share this!

rubbing my finger along the rim of my foreskin like a tibetan singing bowl. listen to its rich deep tone

I am a therapist and I prescribe all my patients a big ass kush blunt. the diagnosis? society.