Reply guys are a menace on here. I wrote this for when one of them comes into your mentions so you can link it. In my experience, about 90% of the time, you'll get an apology. The other 10%, you can now block with a clean conscience. https://anotherangrywoman.com/2023/01/18/how-to-give-advice-on-the-internet-without-being-an-utter-menace/
@stavvers While reading your post, what I noticed most was that the behaviour you're describing as "abhorrent" is... totally normal among male-to-male interactions. We *constantly* give each other unsolicited advice and push each other to improve (that probably makes up at least 30% of all male-to-male conversations). When another guy gives advice that I don't want, I just roll my eyes and ignore him.
Given this, it's easy to see why so many of us have trouble switching contexts to the female perspective.
@stavvers @LouisIngenthron and the spitting. what's with all the spitting? I clearly remember wondering about that since early childhood. can vouch that there's no sex-specific biological need for it.
@StrangeNoises @stavvers Same as smoking. Tobacco made it "cool" back in cowboy days and it stuck.
@LouisIngenthron @stavvers oh god, at least i never lived somewhere where people chewed (and inevitably spat) tobacco. (Just had to breathe it in instead until more recent laws got passed making that much less of a problem.)
piss
@stavvers @LouisIngenthron
A few months ago the subcontractors doing the cleaning in my work literally issued instructions that pissing on the floor, walls, and toilet seats of the gents was being monitored and needed to be stopped.
piss
@floppyplopper @LouisIngenthron fellas is it gay to piss in a toilet and only a toilet
piss
@stavvers @floppyplopper Y'all go try peeing from a yard away and tell me how much makes it in. 😆
piss
@LouisIngenthron @stavvers @floppyplopper But absolutely no self-awareness or internal reflection on the very concept of men turning pissing into a distance competition in the first place, huh?
Kinda just seems to continue to prove Stavver’s point, no?
piss
@turboquokka Nobody over the age of ten turns it "into a distance competition". It's just physics.
@stavvers @LouisIngenthron and lining the cubicle floor with bits of toilet roll appears to be normal for way too many women.
@stavvers @LouisIngenthron pissing on the floor is not normal for men :(
@evilstevie @stavvers @LouisIngenthron It is if they’re lazy AF. Source: Have known waaaay too many dudes like this in my 45 years.
@turboquokka @stavvers @LouisIngenthron I will readily admit to my laziness.
but pissing on the floor? just... why?
@LouisIngenthron @stavvers Speaking as a guy, this behaviour, while common, is *intensely* irritating. Just don’t give unsolicited advice, whether to men, women, or any other gender-presentation. If we want your advice, we will ask. Otherwise, keep it to yourself!
@LouisIngenthron @stavvers a key thing here is most guys would not react well to a woman acting that way to them
it's not just a culture thing it's a power thing
@waitworry @stavvers That's an interesting point.
How well do women generally take unsolicited advice from other women offline?
@LouisIngenthron It's not really the same thing. Men giving unsolicited advice to women are systematically more insistent, less respectful, and more likely to become aggressive if that advice is not taken than they would be if they were giving the same advice to another man
@tungol Sure, the dipshit ratio is never zero, and that behaviour should never be tolerated.
But saying that you can't ever offer unsolicited advice because some dudes are dicks about it is like saying you shouldn't ever protest because some people riot. Just because there's a wrong way to do something doesn't mean we should discourage the right way.
@LouisIngenthron @stavvers
It's kinda no wonder that nobody wants to be friends with men, if this is our norm.
@AmicusThespis @stavvers Why? Some of us enjoy having friends who push us to improve and excel.
@LouisIngenthron given that pissing on the floor is normal for men, I would suggest that maybe men's norms are indeed abhorrent and need to be stopped.