Pivo @Pivo@qoto.org

if you like hawaii so much then why don’t you maui it

been thinking about it a lot and we should go back to being primordial soup

♫ it's the i of the tiger, with a g to the right
Risin' up to the challenge of a vowel
And the last two letters are an e and an r
And the t is in front of the iiiiii
of the tiger ♫

“wholesome” needs to make up its mind

Home is where the heart is. Hopefully it’s where all of the other vital organs reside too.

I’m not a jewelry expert but I do know that if you open a locket, a ghost should pop out.

Bats are just leather birds. Face the facts

Cancel culture? No thanks I’d rather cancel capitalism

Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? Uhhhh…the first is you do not talk about robots. So's the second, I think. Third’s something about not getting them wet after midnight?

BREAKING NEWS in my house:

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS SOUR CREAM???”
“IT’S RANCH DIP!”
“Oh. Yum…”

It’s probably all just pirated stuff.

The escalator somehow misses the 2nd floor, and you’re crushed into the lobby ceiling.

but the nectarines think you’re kind of an asshole

J. JONAH JAMESON: So, this photo ISN'T a selfie, you were actually up there, on the outer wall of the 97th floor of a skyscraper, WITH Spider-Man.

PETER PARKER: Yup.

JJJ: And it only *looks* like a selfie because Spider-Man was "patting your head" while you took the shot?

PETER PARKER: $25, take it or leave it.

Cast of Schitt’s Creek Knives Out

so crazy to think my family and I survive daily inside a house with dated kitchen cabinets

I worked at a place where we weren't allowed to tell people what kind of day to have, and I think about that a lot.

drugs exist in the liminal space between food and poison

Whenever my boyfriend says anything remotely critical of me, I’m just like dude, there is lace around my underwear. Stringy, tickly threads that go all the way around the top and make me itch when I pee. And I do it for you. So shut the fuck up.