@snail@spinster.xyz @georgia@spinster.xyz Yeah, the cigarette after sex or after a meal jockey for position as 'best cigarette' for me.

But, it's just part of the coping mechanisms I built for myself just to sort of survive bipolar.

I'd start a new job every couple of years, but I still made enough to get by and be 'functional'. I was able to get by without insurance in the US until I worked in the South Carolina Prisons.

That job, plus a desire to not have to work jobs like that to get decent health care, are what ultimately led me to moving to Israel.

Took me six years before I realized I could go on medication here and not be made poor by it. Another three before I started seeing the therapist/psychologist.

I need to let go a lot of these old coping mechanisms, including smoking, but it'll be a process.