@OpenComputeDesign No, and it is quite heavy on me needing context. What happened? Parent fuckup, or did you manage to actually do something that modifies the world around?

@admitsWrongIfProven I don't know exactly why she ran away now. 7 months before her 18th birthday.

I know she wanted to move out, I was even trying to help her get ready. But I thought she'd move out normally, when she turned 18.

Instead she's in foster care, and my parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers. Because while they were, my dad especially, kinda crappy parents some times, I don't believe the accusations she's made against them.

And because I was, or at least I thought I was, her confidant, I'm stuck in a really crappy place.

@OpenComputeDesign Another take: you thought she would move out "normally". Why? If someone is - by what you say - desperate. what makes you think it is "normal"?

I sure did not need to clear out from my parents urgently. All that you describe points toward her being the only one with any sense in your family.

What is it that your parents do that drives people away?

@admitsWrongIfProven I thought she would because we had been making plans for her. And because I didn't think it was _that_ bad. I don't think she or the rest of my family are that bad, I just think they are incompatible.

@OpenComputeDesign Dude, you are a beacon of "this is not ok". You might cope, but that is just because you are great. Does not mean anyone else should go through that.

List what has been done to you. You'll need that list to work through when you come back from the denial.

Keep checking what changes, the list might be confusing :-)

@admitsWrongIfProven It's a shame I can't talk to her, I used to love to tell her about when people tell me stuff like this

@OpenComputeDesign maybe you should take the time to listen next time. She surely can tell you more than i ever could.

Consider this: if i convinced you the world was a pig running around a skatepark, and your sister told you she buffed her toe, what would be more important?

Whatever happens, be a nice older brother. Whatever has been done to you, if she runs away, she can lead the way.

@admitsWrongIfProven I really can't wait until this whole sordid court case is done with so I can talk to her again. Even if I probably never will see her again.

@OpenComputeDesign I know little about what is going on, but if your sis has a court case against your parents... what is your stance? And for what reason?

@admitsWrongIfProven I am officially on my parents' side. I don't think they deserve jail, and they don't have to for my little sister to get what she wants (freedom). She's a free girl either way, so

@OpenComputeDesign There is a wtf-sized gap in this.
If your parents should not be jailed, what did they do that reasonably makes your sister want to break free but unable?

@OpenComputeDesign Your not well adjusted self paints this as a lie. If there was no trouble, you would easily dismiss this, worry about what your never close sister does, and live on without much trouble.

Is it that much more trouble to admit what has been done to you than lying about nothing being wrong?

After all, if nothing was wrong, we never would have started talking.

Do you think the crime done would shake me?

@admitsWrongIfProven I mean, my dad _has_ done stuff he shouldn't have, but I still don't think he deserves to spend his final days in prison

@OpenComputeDesign So, what kind of stuff? Saying stuff he should not have, like "Ass" or "fuck", or slight physical discipline, like lightly spanking the butt? Or sexual abuse, inserting his whatchamacallit?

@admitsWrongIfProven saying stuff he shouldn't have, misguided discipline, yes. Anything insertionary, I don't think so

@OpenComputeDesign Your own fate should tell you everything you need to know about what saying stuff one should not say can do. Still, i see no reason to trust your parents over your sister.

If it is hard for you to give me this information, might that validate your sisters suit? What does your trouble of talking about this say about it?

Should a person not be able to express their thoughts?

@OpenComputeDesign Another way of saying this:
If you had not been wronged, how can it be you cannot talk about it?

Your demeanor is that of a dependant. You dance around everything, you never ascertain anything. You don't get that way if your parents or surroundings are not abusive.

Do you value truth? Say what happened, as it is.

@admitsWrongIfProven because I do have secrets of my own that I've gotten so used to not talking about, I can feel uneasy talking about things which in my brain feel adjacent

Follow

@OpenComputeDesign I have secrets i do not talk about. Those are pretty constrained in nature, about myself. I can sling mud about anyone around me if i want to. Not that i would want to, but i could.
Might your trauma be a secret you wish to conceal? Might accepting that shit was bad shake your foundation of how life is?

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Qoto Mastodon

QOTO: Question Others to Teach Ourselves
An inclusive, Academic Freedom, instance
All cultures welcome.
Hate speech and harassment strictly forbidden.