<laughs in former hedge fund speechwriter>

Even I, who once wrote a pitch deck claiming the Bayer-Monsanto merger would be akin to Wesley marrying Buttercup, could not come up with this sort of horseshit

[ @pluralistic on that same merger:

You'll recall that Bayer merged with Monsanto in 2018, paying $66b in an all-cash deal and erasing the Monsanto name (apparently, they judged Bayer's association with Auschwitz to be preferable to Monsanto's association with Roundup) ]